Putting the Homeless in Family

River of Life Mission, the largest faith-based organization in the Hawaiian Islands, serves meals to over 1000 homeless people a day. But more significant than that, the staff of River of Life know the names of every person they serve. Paul Gates, the executive director of River of Life and Gina have a conversation about Paul’s life as the son of missionaries, discovering his passion and purpose, finding his way to the Hawaiian Islands to be executive director at River of Life, and the critical role of family in the restoration of those struggling with homelessness.

Click below to listen starting at 25:23 to follow along.

The Solution to Homelessness is Family

Paul:

Family has been a huge emphasis. Since I’ve been on the island, I am realizing that River of Life is such a known organization. Just being on the radio, being on the news, being interviewed frequently and all those things. I was actually driving over the mountains, the gorgeous mountains of God’s country to be interviewed on the news.

I was praying as I was driving, and I’ve been asked hundreds of times, even in my first four months here, “What’s the solution for homelessness.” And I’ve been asked that my whole life. I started doing homeless ministry, even in my twenties, and I knew I was going to be asked it again.

A lot of this, I have to tell you was through prayer, but also seeing the River of Life staff in action. As you said, even just in your brief time here, how the staff brings such an amazing warmth to this ministry. They make sure people know that they’re known and seen, and they’re heard and understood. If I even said those things to the staff here, because there’s such humble people, they would say, “What are you talking about?” They have zero strategies.

They have no methods. They don’t have three steps, five steps, or ten steps. They just do it. All they do is try and say, “I’m going to just live out my love for Jesus towards these people.” And it’s profound. But going back to that, I was driving over the mountain and I knew I was gonna be asked that question.

I just felt like God just said to me, “Paul, it is family. The solution to homelessness is family.“

I was like, “Okay, what is that?” And I felt like I was saying, you can have all these programs again, 12 step, or celebrate recovery, and I’ll talk about that a little bit in a minute, or help with rapid rehousing, or things like that to help people get housed again, and get jobs again. But really, a lot of people ended up bombing out of programs, and they don’t stick with them.

But the one people group that can help people the most is their own families, their own flesh and blood. I believe that God was just saying that to me. There’s something about blood, you know, it’s Ohana, it’s the Hawaiian way of Ohana, that family will always be there for one another.

So I’m driving over, and I start getting interviewed, and there’s people behind the cameras and there’s a guy interviewing me. Very early in the interview, I said, “I know I’m going to be asked at the end of this, what the solution for homeless is. I just want to tell you, I feel like God gave me the answer this morning.” The interview guide kind of sat back in his chair. In fact, all the people behind the cameras popped their heads around the cameras kind of look like, “Did he really just say that?”

And it was awesome. It was kind of like this “I’m bout to drop a bomb in the room, but I’m not going to do it yet.” You know? So we went through this whole interview and it was almost two hours of interviewing. At the end of it, the guy stops, and he goes, “You told us at the beginning that you have the answer and the solution to homelessness. I’ve been thinking about it the entire time. What is it?” And I said, “You’re going to think it’s sounds crazy as it is just one word, and it’s so simple, but I do believe it’s the solution for homelessness.”

And he goes, “What is it? And I go “It’s family.” And he goes, “I think you’re right.” And I go, “What do you mean by you think I’m right?” and he goes, “I’ve heard about all these programs. I’ve been a part of all these programs. I have interviewed people for all these programs. They’re great. Now we don’t want to do away with them.” I go, “You’re right. We don’t want to do away with them. They’re all tools, right? We need tools in our tool belt to help people. But, but the ultimate best place to start is with family.”

And so I came back to the mission and share this with the staff. We started praying about it. Our staff started thinking, “How could I actually start connecting some of these people on the streets back with their family?” It’s slow work, but powerful work. We’ve had four people reconnected with their family in the last three months. Two of them have been flown off the island and fully back in a family home.

One of those guys is a guy named Larry. Lenny started building a bridge with Larry. He got Larry on some phone calls with some of his family. The family started going “well, what if we fly out there?” Lenny’s like, “Yes. Fly out here. I’ll reconnect you. I don’t know where it’s going to go.” Well, his family is flying out here, and Larry ends up falling off a wall, breaking his leg, breaking ribs, and ends up in the hospital.

Well, our staff guide knows that when you’re coming down off of alcohol addiction and you’re in the hospital, you can wake up in the middle of the night, rip all your IVs out and just walk out the hospital and then they’ll never find them again.

So our staff guy, Lenny, a married guy with a family says, “I’m going to go sit in the hospital with him until his family shows up.” So Lenny goes and sits in the hospital with Larry to just hang out with him and be Jesus. Well then Larry’s family shows up and they have to go into quarantine. All of a sudden, he’s going, I’ve got 10 days now, and I don’t want to lose Larry because if he gets out of the hospital and even goes back on the streets, I may not be able to find him again.”

So he goes through three hours of phone calls and all of a sudden gets on a phone call with somebody and says, “Well, since they’re quarantining for COVID and Larry is family, Larry can actually go quarantine with them.” So Lenny goes “awesome.” But Larry doesn’t have any form of ID to prove that he’s family. So Lenny goes, I’m going to go get Larry from the hospital. I’m going to go get him an ID that’s suitable enough to prove that he’s family.”

He takes a whole nother day with this homeless guy to get them an ID, to prove that he’s family and gets him into quarantine with an uncle, and I think a brother. They sit in quarantine together, get to know each other again, after 20 years. Lenny ends up taking them to the airport, gets a picture of them at the airport with Larry to fly him off the island. They sent him a picture in North Carolina at the airport there, and he’s in a family home, back with his family.

Then Larry sent us a letter, this short handwritten letter. And he said, “Dear River of Life Mission, thank you for 20 years of generosity, Larry.” We got this letter and we seriously all cried. We were like, “That’s what it’s all about right there.”

So we’re working with a few others. We have a guy right now, Orlando, who is a world champion boxer. He fought with Muhammad Ali and had a ton of money, but because of family rift, he ended up on the streets. That’s what it is a lot of times when we talk, and ask, “What about your family?” They say, “Oh no, no, no, no, no.” because there’s a little rift, which is typically something so minute and small and you know how this works with families. Sometimes this is a little little form that all of a sudden becomes this wedge, and then there’s no going back. “I can’t connect with my family” and Orlando was in that situation.

One of our guys, again, through social media, connected him with his family, got him on a zoom call where Orlando hadn’t seen some of his family for 25 years.” And all of a sudden he’s crying, and his family’s crying and he’s still in the process of being reconnected with his family. It was just this God given focus that we’ve decided to take on as a mission to focus on family, reuniting people on the streets with their family, because there’s no one like blood to take care of.

Let’s break through those wedges that have been built up through years, and just get them in conversation again and see what God can do. It’s just been powerful. I was telling the staff one day in a meeting, this is important for me as a leader as well, because I don’t want to just go out all over these Hawaiian islands and say, we found the solution to homelessness in his family.

You know, I’ve got to be a leader where I’m leading my family. Well, it starts with my own walk with Jesus. It starts in my own home. Then it goes to my leadership with my team of staff, my second family here at the mission and our team of staff and then how we do ministry reconnecting people with their family.

We were made for Relationship

Gina:

Yeah. We’re made for relationship bottom line. God is our father. We were made to have relationship with Him, intimate, healthy relationship with Him and with each other. That is what the enemy has been working over time to dismantle, because that was the original intent. And his number one tactic is isolation.

So you go back to the garden, and you go back to Adam and Eve walking in the cool of the day with their heavenly Father, and there is this unity, there’s no shame. There’s nothing hidden. There’s no separation. And what the enemy does is he pulls them away. He separates them and he sows doubt. And that doubt leads them to make a decision because they start to question and doubt the motive and the intention of their heavenly father.

I say several times in my podcast, “The most heartbreaking verse in the Bible is when God says ‘where are you?’ when they’re hiding from Him.” Right? And so what you’re addressing, and probably why there is an attack coming is that you are coming in and recognizing that there is broken relationship that needs to be restored. That is with both earthly families and that’s with spiritual family.

As those things are healed, then that isolation is removed. As those things are healed, shame is broken, and it no longer has a hold. As the things are immune to bitterness and offense and unforgiveness, all of those things start to be healed and restored. And when that happens, the enemy has no foothold. The enemy has no ground to stand on. And so you’re marching into enemy territory boldly.

Paul:

I love how you put it. You have such a pastoral heart and depth of wisdom that I’ve always seen in you. Even what you just said is profound for everybody, who’s hearing this to hear that. I wrote down just as you were saying that, the words isolation, identity and individuality. We’ve actually had that conversation, especially when you think about people on the streets, or back to the garden of Eden and Genesis.

One of our good friends always refers back to that garden state, that original intent. That original intent was for us to be in relationship. Yet, everything right now, especially in our current modern society is to separate and isolate and all those things. If we can keep encouraging people to tap into their identity, and their true original intent, and also to embrace their individuality, that’s a big thing, you know?

So I think we’re talking about some really powerful things; breaking and completely shattering isolation, and doing that with people, understanding their own identity, their original intent, and then their individuality and how God can use that. I think it’s super powerful.

Gina:

That place of isolation is where the enemy can just whisper those lies that cause you to feel like, “I’m rejected. I’m not wanted, I have something to be ashamed of.” And you know, Isaiah 61, the messianic prophecy of Jesus, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, and he’s anointed me to bring good news to the poor, to set the captives free, to open the prison doors, to those who are bound” I’m jumbling words, but it’s beauty for ashes, right?

That is restoration. That is kingdom. That is what Jesus died for. Not one drop of blood was wasted, and it was all for reconciliation of relationship. It wasn’t just to escape hell, or just so that when I die I get to go to heaven someday. It’s to boldly go through that torn veil, and to have an intimate, connected relationship with our loving Papa, and then to experience that here on earth with the restoration of family.

So you guys are standing on the front lines of restoring both relationships. All three really, because you also have to restore your relationship with yourself to feel that you’re worthy of God’s love, that you’re worthy to be in relationship with others. My mom was an alcoholic, and she died succumbed to all of that. And it was isolation.

Towards the end she had retreated from family. She had retreated from God, and she bought hook line and sinker into the lies that the enemy had told her; That she wasn’t worthy, that she wasn’t lovable, that she was rejected, that she wasn’t worthy of acceptance and love, and that led to her death.

But even in that there was redemption, and God showed up and demonstrated His love for her, even in the most desolate of places. But that place of restoration is the frontline. The frontline isn’t politics.

The frontline isn’t whether or not we should wear masks. It isn’t who’s sitting in the office of presidency here or in any other country. The front line is a battle for restored relationship, to retrieve lost and stolen parts in the minds of sons and daughters, who are so loved by their heavenly Father.

The fact that these people who society has forgotten, and a lot of people just look down on, but your team is looking in their eyes and giving them a hug and knowing their name and handing them a bag with their name on it. Then the ultimate goal would be to help bridge that gap and to bring restoration to families, which is pretty beautiful and profound.

I said this before we started recording too; God has uniquely prepared you for such a time as this, thank you for you to stand in a place that he’s called you to stand and to do it with confidence. It’s pretty fun to see, and I’m excited about what God’s got in front of you guys.

Paul:

Thank you. We feel it, and we’re excitedly stepping into it. At the same time, we need crazy prayer, because it’s wild, because you really stick yourself out there based on your love and relationship for Jesus and what Christ has done, you know, and, and truly trying to live out who Jesus was and care and compassion for others.

It’s hard work. But at the same time, there’s never a dull moment, and that’s the beauty of it. I tell people, I put my head on my pillow every night and go, “Okay, man, that was definitely not a dull day. It was wild, and how did I even survive that?” But praise God, I got to see people’s lives changed and kingdom moments. But I think it’s really profound, just to shatter isolation.

God originally intended for us that our identity would be who we are in Jesus. Then we would be willing to embrace the individuality with different ways that God has created each of us.

Gina:

You look at Jesus, and His relationship with His disciples, and you see that He leads them with such intimate intentionality based on who they are. Jesus leads Peter different than he leads Thomas, different than he leads John, but all with the same amount of love and intentional pursuit, and with such tenderness and intimate awareness of their unique needs. Even post-resurrection we get to see Jesus interact differently with each disciple, but with such love and so much grace, and that’s what, what you guys get to do.

And also on a personal note, I just want to publicly thank you. God really used you profoundly to bring a lot of encouragement and affirmation to me. I was transitioning, and felt God calling me away from a staff position in the church, and being almost a 50 year old woman in ministry, and really not knowing what was next, and really struggling to believe or trust my call and my authority and the things that God has me in.

Even sitting here recording a podcast, and this is going to be for season four, and Stockton ministries becoming a thing; a lot of that is because of your friendship and encouragement. Your willingness to sit down and have coffee with me for an hour, for you to say, “Gina, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this. Gina, you need to have confidence and go ask those things.” Those were important moments.

Paul:

This is so you, I love it! Even as you’re interviewing me, I’m thinking I could never track and bring that spiritual angle that you did. This is perfect, and it’s beautiful. And you know me, I’m such a fan of communication. For anybody that is hearing this, especially young people that are hearing this, I think they’re going to be so profoundly encouraged. That’s why it’s so important to have these conversations and just have a recording of it. They can go on and on for generations, and I know that’s big, and on your heart. God is good.

But you’re even talking about your mom and just even that point of being saved, I love how you talk about how Jesus didn’t just give His life to save us and give us an entry pass into heaven. But He did it to restore broken relationships because that is the original intent. That was the original intent of God and Adam and Eve in the garden is to be in community.

So I was even thinking, it’s not about just getting a hall pass. We all remember getting a hall pass in school, and getting a hall pass by yourself. And you’re walking down the hall by yourself to go to the bathroom. All of a sudden you’re going, “This kind of sucks to go down the hall by myself.”

But if you have a friend that all of a sudden walks out goes, “I have a hall pass too!” All of a sudden you’re like, “Oh yay a friend! Come with me!” But then the funny thing is, you walk in the bathroom with them and all of a sudden you hear them doing a solid, and you go “Oh man. This life together ain’t so pretty after all! You’re pretty loud, and man, that smells.”

But that’s the beauty of life. I was just thinking about that image of really getting a hall pass and walking down the hall by myself and going, whoa, the hall pass was great, but I don’t want to do this by myself. And then all of a sudden that other kid comes out and I’m like, “Hey, let’s go.” You know? I think that’s such a powerful thing, that hopefully that cheesy crass illustration showed that!

But this greater profoundness of what Jesus did for us, was just not this entry into heaven, but this restoration of relationship with God The Father, and even with each other and how we got to stick in it with each other, and break down isolation and be together. And there’s a power of being together because that is the original intent.

Gina:

Yeah. When your mom had her stroke, your parents are living with you and can relate to the weight of age from parents and all of that stuff. But going to that whole restoration of relationship, you know, my parents were never married. I never lived with my dad. I always had a relationship with him, but not your typical father relationship. He was an alcoholic my whole life. And I know that my dad loved me, but he didn’t know how to be a dad.

He married my step-mom probably thirty years ago, and the two of them lived 45 minutes away from us, and we’d see them maybe twice a year. So they definitely kept us at an arm’s length, just not really any relationship. Then he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s three years ago and I left the position on staff at the church almost four years ago. Part of the call of leaving was this journey with my dad, and my stepmom would ask me to drive down once a week to take him out of the house.

it’s so crazy how God brings about that restoration and redemption, because here we are in a situation that was, for all intents and purposes, a terrible situation. Alzheimer’s is not a pretty disease, and yet through the process of his decline and caring for him, and then subsequently caring for my stepmom, who I never lived with, because her subsequent loss of her eyesight and everything like that, the redemption is that I have more relationship with both of them now than I ever had my entire life.

I wouldn’t have that, had this hard thing not happened. It’s been the hall pass, going in the bathroom times, and it’s been gnarly. But what a crazy demonstration of redemption. And redemption, I say this often, it’s not linear. It’s not easy. It’s often excruciating, and yet it’s miraculous.

And that is the thing that you are being able to facilitate, and so far it’s been four people, and God only knows how many more he has intent for, but those reunions aren’t going to be a hallmark movie. They’re going to be excruciating at times and smelly and painful, but they’re going to be miraculous.

So, God bless you and your team, I am praying for favor and miraculous provision spiritually, emotionally, physically, and practically on every level. I am praying for protection, and praying for multiplication. But thank you for being here. Thank you for being faithful. Thanks for being an encouragement. Thank you. Love you dude.

Reflection and Prayer

Gina:

I don’t want us to go before just touching on a couple of things. I love how Paul said in the beginning, “I’m just gonna rock what God gave me.” And that really goes back to, can you stand and trust and believe who God made you to be your individuality? Paul kept talking about the importance of individuality and what that really is. It Is, how did God uniquely make you? How did he knit you together? What are the gifts that he’s giving you? Because you know what?

Nobody can be you. Nobody can stand in your shoes. Nobody can love the way you can and serve the way you can, uniquely. So I just want to encourage you right now, before you go on with your day, stop and consider the uniqueness of you, and appreciate how God made you and the things that you can offer.

What does it look like to just be entirely confident and comfortable with who God made you to be, and trust his Holy Spirit to empower you? Trust him to do the heavy lifting, and you can just be his son, be his daughter and be in relationship with Him and relationship with others.

And the other thing I wanted to stop for a moment, I think it’s easy when we see homeless people, or people who are struggling or just really not able to make forward progress in life, they’re overwhelmed, they’re broken. Maybe they’re battling addiction? But could we stop for a moment and pray and consider how we can love people well?

I love that at River of Life, every employee there knows each of the people they serve by name. So I would encourage all of us to take a moment to pray, to lean in and consider how we can be the hands and feet of Jesus to those that are struggling.

So Father, in Jesus’ name, I thank you for Paul, I thank you for his ministry. I thank you that what you can do in and through us goes so far beyond our comfort level and our capacity. God, would you give us willingness and boldness and strength to trust you to step out in faith and love well? Give us opportunity and that extra little push to trust Your Spirit, to move. And we ask all this in your name. Amen.