In this episode Gina has a conversation with Mark Barlow about family, legacy and his journey trusting and learning the delight of obedience. Mark is a singer/songwriter and the Worship Pastor of Isla Vista Church in Santa Barbara.
Check out Mark’s music and ministry https://www.barkmarlow.com
Check out Isla Vista and the Jesus Burgers ministry https://islavistachurch.org
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Listen below to follow along: 16:00
Choosing God’s Best
Mark:
I’m here on assignment, I’ve said “No” to so many opportunities, and that is the thing that has allowed me to stay here for more than three years. I’m so thankful for that word that He spoke. When I first moved into Isla Vista, I started experiencing all of this anxiety and depression and feeling like I didn’t know who I was anymore.
I was feeling like I didn’t know my purpose, and a lot of these things were just coming at me and I asked, “God, what is up with my thought life right now?” And He said, “Son, you know who you are, you’ve just never been tested in it. This is the place where everything that I have made you to be now matters, because you are no longer in the bubble that you grew up in.
This is the place for everything in your identity to be solidified because it’s all there. It just needs all the ingredients on the table, you just need to bake the cake.” He spoke a second word to me in that moment, He also said “Start praying for other people, because when you start praying for other people, this downward spiral that’s all zoning in on you as the center – is going to reverse when you pray for other people, and your heart is going to open up and unwind.”
Those two words brought so much freedom for me, because even just to hear His voice brought so much peace. This also helped me recognize that thought patterns were not coming from the inside of me, but that they were external. That practical wisdom for praying for other people really set me free as well. At the time I got offered a positioned as a worship pastor in North County, San Diego at this church called Glory Mountain.
They offered me a really amazing package. I was like, “Jesus, thank you so much for this opportunity. This is incredible.” I was 19 at the time, and they were going to offer me free rent, and a free car, and the girl that I was dating was only an hour away at the time. And He said, “Don’t make a decision.”
I was like, “What the heck? What do You mean don’t make a decision? You made me for music, You made me for family. What do you mean don’t make a decision?” Then I told them, “Listen, I don’t have permission to make a decision, so I have to just sit tight for a second.” And they’re like, “All good, no worries.”
Then I went through this turmoil thing in my mind, and things that are like in the spiritual atmosphere here, I was living in a shed when all these thoughts were hitting me, pulling me down. Then when the Lord spoke those words to me, those two really helpful things, “You know who you are, you just never been tested in it, and pray for other people and it’s going to unwind your heart.”
Then He said, “This is what I’m going to do in you in Isla Vista, I’m going to solidify everything that’s inside of you, but if you leave before I tell you to leave, you’ll be under baked. You can go to San Diego, it’s going to be comfortable, but if you stay here you’ll grow.” So I was like, “Okay, well let’s just say “yes” to the test.”
Gina:
It’s a big deal at 19 to be able to hear God and choose that. That package checked all the boxes. It was those affirmations, the things that feel good, that approval and affirmation of man, like all the things and its ministry. It would be so easy to say “Yes” to that. So at 19 years old to be able to have the discernment and the ability to go, “Lord, I want to be where You want me to be.”
I love that you felt that He said you can go there. I mean you can, He gives us the choice. You can and He’s still going to meet you there, but it’s probably not the ideal journey. He is a redeemer, and He’s still going to work in you and move you. His kindness is still going to pursue you and meet you.
But for you to hear His voice and trust that He’s a loving Father, and trust that this is for your good and His glory, and to be able to choose to say “Yes”, that’s significant. That’s probably a product of the legacy that you have, that you’ve lived in a home where that was modeled.
You had parents that even after they were ordained and had incredible ministry experience, chose to want more and to submit themselves into an environment where they could learn and grow… that was always modeled to you. Here you are able to go, “Okay, Lord, I’m going to choose You.”
Becoming Trustworthy
Mark:
I’ve been really thinking about this the past week or so. It’s about trust with God. Jesus is so trustworthy. But, in His eyes, am I trustworthy? Realizing “Wow. Jesus doesn’t have anything to prove, He’s already proved it all. He’s already poured out a hundred percent of His love on the cross. He didn’t spare an entire drop of blood, because I’m loved unconditionally by the Father.”
Trust is something that we get an opportunity to build through relationship with Him and through our obedience. It’s interesting looking back at these moments of my life of “Choose your own adventure.”, but He encouraged me in a specific direction. If I had gone in the direction that I wanted to go, as opposed to the direction that He encouraged me to go, things would be so different and I would’ve missed out on so much.
I’m so thankful for opportunities to build trust with Him, because I want to see more of those moments happen where I can look back at my own preference and my own leaning, and know that I chose Him. Not to completely disregard the way that He is growing us, obviously I was 19 and it would’ve been so easy to just do the thing that felt the best.
I think that our progression in our relationship with God is the process of us building trust with Him, and Him building a maturity in us. I think that eventually He brings us to a place where we are a hundred percent led by the desires that He places in our hearts.
I don’t think that’s the first step. I think that it starts with us learning to obey His voice and submit to His voice. As that happens, we find our delight in Him, and then as our hearts delight in Him, then He gives us the desires of our hearts, because our delight Him, and there isn’t anything we wouldn’t give up for Him.
Gina:
It’s Psalm 37:4-5, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” If you go back to verse 3-4, “Trust in the Lord” is the beginning of that. “Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land.” So am I willing to dwell here, and feed on His faithfulness? If we start with “trust,” we have to ask, “Do I trust You?”
Let me process that with the Lord. “Am I willing to dwell where He’s placed me, where He has called me, and where he’s saying, “Hey, if you trust me, just stay here.” The way to stay is to feed on His faithfulness and the truth of who He is. As I do that, my desires are going to start to align with His and that delight is a response.
Check out the rest of this conversation: A Ministry of Legacy, Give Away My Love & Come Away With Me
Check out the Dwell Meditations
